Opinion

Arguing about toy weapons: relax, and stand your ground

26.2.2025

Translation: Patrik Stainbrook

Whether during Carnival, the average Nerf phase or at a laser tag event – almost every child will get their hands on a toy weapon at some point. I had problems with it at first, but now I’m pretty relaxed about it.

When I think of carnivals from my childhood, the first thing that comes to mind is a small, dirty silver toy gun. It was pretty heavy, the grip solid and the barrel open. Compared to today’s cowboy revolvers, it looked pretty menacing. New ones are usually made of plastic and the barrel is visibly sealed with a red plug.

Fancy dress accessories

Sombo Denver pistol

However, I didn’t really care what happened at the front. After all, percussion caps could be clamped in the back and, with a bit of luck, could be made to pop by pulling the trigger. The noise, the flying sparks and the small, sulphurous clouds of smoke in the air are etched in our memories. Alongside our parents, who thought this fascinating toy was dangerous.

I couldn’t understand why. I wasn’t thinking about life and death, nor about fear and threats. Just fun in the moment. And the fact I was able to set off little fireworks as a kid.

This little red band of tape evokes nostalgic feelings.
Source: Wikimedia Commons/Harry20, CC BY-SA 3.0

Yes, we were reprimanded when we took aim at each other. But even if we did, we were probably just playing tag from a distance. «I got you!» – «No, I had you first!» Innocent times. A long time ago, some decades later, I saw my own child handling a toy gun for the first time. Just as enthusiastic, just as enraptured and, as expected, without a hint of inner conflict. Something I had in spades.

Find your own stance

It all started with a need to protect. I didn’t want to see my kid racing through the neighbourhood Rambo-style, I didn’t want to build up an ammunition depot in their room and I wanted to stick with building blocks forever.

Of course, all these thoughts were wildly exaggerated. But the topic of weapons immediately looms large in people’s minds since it resonates so much more with adults. It marks the beginning of the end of innocence. It’s not the child’s fault, they just immediately have to deal with the irritation that mommy and daddy obviously don’t like this fabulous new toy. Turns out I hadn’t even made my mind up yet. What to do with all my memories? With all the fun I had as a child? What’s okay, and where’s the line of good taste in my eyes?

As soon as I think about it, I realise that my thoughts on the subject are anything but consistent. Why do I see water pistols as completely harmless summer fun, but Nerf guns make me uncomfortable? How can I shoot at turtles with fireballs as Super Mario, but criticise the paintball battle in Splatoon 3? What's the difference? And why do I have a problem with it, even though toy guns today have to look much less realistic and are no longer as loud as they used to be? It's hard to explain, but there's no getting around it: these conflicting feelings need to be discussed.

Being disarmingly honest

I don’t believe in strict bans. Something that fascinates them will sooner or later find its way into a kid’s hands anyway. In that case, it’s better if they have at least a little moral preparation. Basically, I think I’ve observed two things about my behaviour. My reaction is more negative the more a toy resembles real weapons. And to be honest, even if it’s too new for me to associate positive memories with it.

The first point is understandable, the second doesn’t really make sense. A child can understand relatively early on that weapons look threatening and cause suffering in real life. And that’s already a win. Just like when I express my understanding that playing with it is fun. A confession like that and interest in the topic ensure that I don’t block out my kid from what I’m feeling either. That’s vital, only then can a solution be found together.

The Nerf gun: from a neutral point of view, the greatest danger with it involves foam ammunition left lying around somewhere outside.
Source: Shutterstock

The first heated discussion was about Nerf – yes or no? As soon as some classmates had the plastic weapons, the topic got hot, the gun was in high demand and my attitude towards my kid was ultimately this: neither Santa Claus nor the Easter Bunny would become a weapons supplier. If they really wanted one of them, they’d have to buy it with their own money. That eventually came to be, and I tried to refrain from making negative comments and pointing fingers. I even used it regularly and played along.

Setting and enforcing boundaries

Being involved carries the advantage of being able to intervene and regulate things. After all, a shooting game like this is always on the verge of getting out of hand. You have to be clear where the boundaries are. This is a duel. Things should be fair, and clear rules should apply. For example, only aim at people playing and no shooting from close range. If that doesn’t work, the guns will be gone right quick before they've even realised they're not interested in playing with them any more.

Our Nerfs have been gathering dust in some drawer for a few years now. Instead, questions of war and peace are increasingly shifting to the digital realm. When talk on the playground stops being about Pokémon but about headshots, the perspective shifts and hardly any family can maintain their basic pacifist line. In turn, anything associated with physical activity immediately sounds much better.

Laser tag is a big hit at the moment, if the kids have their way.
Source: Shutterstock

Former Nerf sceptics have long since hoisted the white flag, happily sending their children off when the fifth invitation to a laser tag birthday party flutters through the door. Teams shoot at each other with semi-realistic guns under LED lights – then eat cake together in a great atmosphere. Peaceful. In my opinion, with just a little guidance and clear boundaries, children will find a healthy approach to toy weapons – analogue or digital.

Toy weapons

What rules do your children have to follow?

No playing with toy weapons whatsoever.
10%
The topic will be discussed and decided on a case-by-case basis.
52%
They can do whatever they want.
38%

The competition has ended.

Header image: Shutterstock

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Michael Restin

Senior Editor

Michael.Restin@digitecgalaxus.ch

Simple writer and dad of two who likes to be on the move, wading through everyday family life. Juggling several balls, I'll occasionally drop one. It could be a ball, or a remark. Or both.

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