At some point in my previously quite manageable life, I lost control over my existence. What had once started so harmlessly in the bars and pubs of Munich-Schwabing turned into an alcohol addiction. Brutally and mercilessly, it had taken me in its devilish claws and held me captive without compassion. What was once meant for fun, enjoyment, and cheerfulness became a maddening, cruel nightmare, the end of which I could no longer correct myself. That it did not end in catastrophe is almost a miracle. My story recounts terrible years of mental anguish, lies and promises, cruel and repeated withdrawals, but also beautiful moments under the influence of alcohol, culminating in a complete downfall due to alcohol. This was followed by admission to a closed ward in a well-known facility.