A royal printer shrouded in mystery
6.6.2018
Translation: machine translated
Blick" has just discovered that the King of Thailand is currently on a "secret mission" in Engelberg. After his stay in Bavaria, which was filled with white sausages and pretzels, we were expecting him to follow it up with Swiss cheese. But there was none of that. Instead, he took an office printer with him. And digitec wonders why.
It's a shame that the third page of Le Blick no longer features naked bodies, the only reason to flip through Switzerland's best-selling tabloid newspaper. At least until today. Indeed, earlier this week, the Blick discovered (in German) that the King of Thailand had not only taken his clothes with him but also his personal printer.
Source: Martin Jud
As the King's mission is one of secrecy, we can only speculate as to how he intends to use this printer.
This laser printer isn't bad at all. Weighing in at 17.5kg, it prints 27 pages per minute thanks to cartridges with JetIntelligence technology and, an ultra important point in this device's description, protects data from external threats.
This laser printer isn't bad at all.
Is it for data protection that it's lugging around this printer? Perhaps the delegation has even beefed up the protection function of this model, because it doesn't trust any other device that has been bought abroad, and neither does digitec?
Maybe! But I digress. Besides, I won't learn any more from reading the Blick article either (if you can learn anything from such a piece of paper!). So it's high time the editors came up with some theories that hold water.
The doldrums
The hypotheses put forward by my colleagues are entirely plausible. I'm going to outline them for you. Please take a seat. Even Sherlock Holmes wouldn't believe it.
Need for new banknotes
Livia Gamper, editor at digitec, is apparently a loyal Blick reader. She refers to a article published on 8 March 2018 (in German) according to which Thailand will soon need new banknotes. The portrait of the late king is to be replaced by that of Vajiralongkorn.
Could it be, then, that His Majesty is secretly propping up his own central bank every night to ensure the notes are ready in time?
As Livia is far from stupid, she comes up with a second theory out of the blue.
"The King has noticed that the HP M452nw is a well-made printer, not like the others that screw up at the drop of a hat. But the HP M452nw seems to break that rule. So it's not surprising that the King of Thailand is taking it all the way to Switzerland."
A cardboard box that hides its game well
Ramon Schneider also has his own theory:
"There's something else in the box. But we're not sure. Maybe it's a Canon printer."
Cartridges on a budget
Even Raphael Knecht expounds two theories:
the first: "The king has raided an old digitec offer: a batch of 20 ink cartridges. And he wants to use them;
the second: "There's an Epson printer inside. He brought it back for fear that this mec from Epson technical support would fix it on the sly."
The fear of being hacked
When it comes to logic, Philipp Rüegg excels. His conclusions are akin to sensationalism. Here's what he argues:
"The king is afraid that hotel employees will be able to access the cache and read his exchanges with Ignazio Cassis."
Secret administrator of bully games
Dominik Bärlocher blurts out to me what's really behind the whole thing. And he seems pretty sure of himself:
"Some time ago, hackers managed to install Doom on certain printers thanks to a fiddle in the firmware updates. As the King wants to remain discreet about his gaming proclivities, he avoids playing with a conventional console and uses the printer instead."
The Canon printers have done just that. And it lends credence to the theory that the cardboard contains something other than what's displayed on it.
Nothing but theories
My work colleagues have fertile imaginations. I really wonder which theory makes the most sense. Although my favourite is the one about banknotes, I can quite imagine that the King likes numbered colouring games or Sudoku and that, to do this, he uses a large quantity of paper. It's also possible that he's read Kevin's article about the paper aeroplane and wants to do the same.
What do you think? Does this box really contain a 17.5kg printer?
Don't flood the comments section with wild theories! We don't want Thailand suing us for lèse-majesté and/or cutting off our hands.
Martin Jud
Senior Editor
martin.jud@digitecgalaxus.chI find my muse in everything. When I don’t, I draw inspiration from daydreaming. After all, if you dream, you don’t sleep through life.
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