Opinion
«Anyone got Emma’s slippers?»: parent group chats as capital punishment
by Katja Fischer
The new school year’s knocking our old routines out of whack
27.8.2025
Translation: Katherine Martin
Back to school means back to reality. The thing is, it’s a different reality. Now that the holidays are over, the children have a new schedule. The rest of us in the family, however, are still playing catch-up. As it turns out, it’s not that easy to completely reorganise your life once a year.
«What are you doing here?» To my surprise, I’ve once again opened the door to find a child standing in front of me. To be fair, he’s my child. And yes, he lives here. But at this moment – 8:17 a.m., to be exact – this particular child should actually be at school. «I forgot my gym bag,» he gasps. Sounds about right. Until now, he’s never had PE on Fridays. If that wasn’t enough, he’d also had to bring 30 cake pops to class for his belated birthday celebration.
Don’t get me wrong, postponed summer-holiday birthday parties aren’t the only reason why we’re scrambling to get back to normality. Or to be more precise, scrambling into a new normality. The normality we once knew has ceased to exist. Old habits die hard, and habits picked up during the previous school year die even harder. Everything’s different now, and I’m not the only one finding it difficult to adjust. Everyone I talk to says their family’s still finding their feet.
Organising your calendar amid information overload
A lot of the information that’s recently become relevant to us is buried deep in our e-mail inboxes and chat history from several weeks ago. Back when the end of the summer holidays felt like a hazy, distant prospect. Right before the end of term, celebrations, farewells and school shows jam up everybody’s calendars. In a bid to stay afloat amidst this mayhem, it’s upcoming get-togethers over drinks that take precedence in people’s minds. After all, who, at that point in time, would care about timetables, meet-and-greets and reading lists for next term?
The period just before the holidays, with its school trips, altered lesson times and extra appointments, gives you a little taste of what’s in store for you when summer’s over. Everything’s happening later, earlier, more often or not happening any more. The information on all of this is sent out (or not), forms needing signatures are uploaded (or not), lesson times and extra-curricular activities slot beautifully into existing schedules (or not). It’s a big puzzle – and it takes time to reveal whether all the pieces fit together.
Who’s going where and who’s eating where?
At the end of June, we were like a well-oiled machine. I knew who’d be ringing the doorbell and when, I knew when the PE kits needed to be washed, and I knew which days were particularly stressful for the kids. I was prepared for all their frustration and joy – and I don’t just mean mentally. I had water bottles and snacks at the ready too. Until we return to this wonderful state of being, we’ll be feeling our way through our restructured days until they eventually become normal.
Until it becomes clear who’s going where and when. And who’s eating where and when. We’ve settled that second question with family friends due to a widespread aversion to food served at after-school club.
Here’s how things went down during the first few days of term. At lunchtime, my son asked in amazement why there were four plates on the table that day. My daughter rushed off to sports practice, arriving an hour and a half early. I’d managed to book her into a class taking place on the same day, but had spaced on the new start time. The rain, however, started right on schedule. These sorts of rookie errors become a thing of the past after week one. When it comes to other, more significant adjustments, however, there isn’t much we can do.
New grade, new life
Even the most organised of families have no control over this stuff. Class sets and seating plans can make or break friendships, as newly formed groups cause children to grow apart (article in German). Teachers can be encouraging or frustrating, sparking interest in new subjects or causing issues. Only time will tell what this new normality will feel like. Weekly timetables may work on paper, but they fail in practice.
Another balance that needs to be struck with every passing year is the children’s increasing organisational skills. The older kids get, the better they’re supposed to be able to organise themselves. And often, they really do want to. This makes some things easier, since it stops everything from being dumped on parents.
At orientation events, all I have to do is come along, soak up the information and somehow try not to attract any negative attention. «At least I’m still allowed to breathe,» sighs a mum friend, whose daughter had said, «Just don’t ask any questions!» to her beforehand. I smile and nod quietly. I reckon I can manage to stand in the corner and look interested. And besides, it’s okay for parents to fade further and further into the background as time goes on.
At parents’ evenings, I no longer have to comment on my kids’ drawings, explaining to the group how the four pencil-drawn sticks on the paper are supposed to represent our family. I’m no longer responsible for correctly packing every gym bag. However, as kids’ organisational skills increase, the challenges presented by school life increase, creating more stress to be relieved.
Plan? What plan?
Timetables are becoming increasingly packed, strengthening the need for organisation. Parents have stepped into a role that resembles something between a counsellor and an IT support tech. When it comes to tech, I ask myself what the best way to communicate all this information is. Information that sometimes reaches the kids, sometimes reaches us parents, and turns up anywhere and everywhere.
Whether it’s among piles of paper on my desk, crumpled up in a school bag, on the school app Klapp or, more recently, shared in folders and teams, posted in WhatsApp groups or Signal chats, sent by e-mail or carrier pigeon. Anything’s possible. Well, except synchronising a mess like that into a paper family planner. At least in my case.
A shared digital calendar makes more sense now that (almost) everyone in the family has entered the world of smartphones. So far, Google Calendar has kept things ticking along nicely. The only thing that’s been driving me up the wall is the lack of support for my colour-coding system and reminder philosophy. If you regularly edit calendar entires, often have no idea what an entry is supposed to mean, or get a ton of daily reminders about things that don’t concern you, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
The fuller a calendar gets, the more chaotic it can look at first glance. That’s why I end up peering in bewilderment at family apps like Shubidu or Familywall, wondering whether they actually simplify everyday planning or just add to the information overload.
Family organisation
How do you keep track of all your appointments?
- All analogue: Timetables and family calendars on the wall18%
- All digital: only shared calendars are good calendars49%
- Better safe than sorry: analogue and digital32%
The competition has ended.
One thought has been comforting me during these difficult first few weeks. Most appointments will soon become routine, and family life will go back to running like clockwork. We’re a series of interlocking cogs, occasionally having to give each other a nudge. I don’t want to think beyond that just yet. Because in ten months’ time, when the end of the school year rolls around, it’ll be time to reset the clock once again.
Michael Restin
Senior Editor
Michael.Restin@digitecgalaxus.chSimple writer and dad of two who likes to be on the move, wading through everyday family life. Juggling several balls, I'll occasionally drop one. It could be a ball, or a remark. Or both.
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