Watching young people (almost) starve themselves is hard to bear and difficult to comprehend, as the mindset behind an eating disorder seems so foreign. Mara Schwarz therefore opens her diary and offers fascinating, sometimes disturbing and frightening insights into the emotional and mental world of anorexics, which is often hard for outsiders to understand. After a traumatic experience, she slips into the eating disorder as a teenager. Even when she weighs just about 35 kilograms, she still feels far too fat. In a constant struggle with herself and the concerned doctors, she desperately tries to maintain control over her life with iron discipline. Mara Schwarz is repeatedly hospitalized, force-fed, isolated, and treated, and she responds to external pressure with even harsher self-punishment, depression, and a retreat into alcohol.