Nothing is as she wishes it to be: men are either absent or unbearable. Her mother is just as uncomposed as she is. Jobs are unsatisfying and poorly paid. Nothing seems to succeed completely. After her great love fails, she suffers a breakdown. But in solitude, she seems to find peace with herself: "I lie here, the sun crawls across the sky towards the exit, briefly it will sparkle in the infusion fluid next to my bed. I am alone, I am colorful when I am alone. Sometimes I cry too, and that feels like a vacation.".