Dr. Ullrich Hasselmann receives a letter from the youth welfare office. The well-being of his child is at risk! Strange: His two daughters, the sweetest twins, are sitting healthy and cheerful in front of him. It slowly dawns on him that this letter might be connected to a certain Jelena, with whom he entered into a sham marriage eighteen years ago for a considerable sum of money. In search of his unknown son, the hypochondriacal classical philologist delves into the depths of his well-justified repressed past. Due to his somewhat pedantic nature, Dr. Hasselmann manages to turn two rival Eastern European mafia gangs completely against him within a few hours. Yes, there are also fatalities. And quite a few, indeed.