For fans of 'Isch geh Schulhof', 'Chill mal, Frau Freitag', and 'Fack ju Göhte': Truth, humor, and madness - a school secretary tells her story. School office, Monday morning, 8:03 AM. 'I think I'm sick.' 'Why do you think that?' 'Mom said so.' 'And why are you here then?' 'I'm supposed to wait and see if it gets worse,' replies Pietro from class 2c, scratching his head awkwardly. 'What exactly do you have?' 'I can't say it out loud.' Cute. I ruffle the little boy's hair and lean down to him: 'Come on, you can whisper it in my ear. I won't tell anyone, except maybe the doctor.' Pietro gathers his courage. He leans very close to my ear. 'Lice, Mrs. Steinbeck. Maybe I have lice. Is that bad?' he whispers. Confiscating phones, patching up head wounds, catching truants, fighting lice, and waking up substitute teachers.