I had to learn to lie on the sofa and do nothing but think thoughts. How to continue living when one is thrown off the path of life from one moment to the next, when death suddenly looms close? With his diary of a cancer illness, Christoph Schlingensief allows us to partake in his urgent search for himself, for God, for a love of life. In January 2008, the renowned film, theater, and opera director, performance and installation artist Christoph Schlingensief is diagnosed with lung cancer. One lung is removed, followed by chemotherapy and radiation, and the prognosis is uncertain - a nightmare of deprivation of freedom from which there seems to be no awakening. Yet just a few days after the diagnosis, Christoph Schlingensief begins to speak, with himself, with friends, with his deceased father, with God - almost always.