I suffer from Orthorexia Nervosa. I only became aware of the term recently; it describes the compulsion to eat healthily. Sounds good, doesn't it? But it isn't. I obsessively follow every new health trend. When consuming everyday foods, I now feel like a suicide risk. By the way, I'm just one in a million affected individuals in Germany. At lunch, we can casually discuss bondage sex like in "Fifty Shades of Grey." But we tense up when a breadbasket is passed around. When did our perpetual diet begin? What are we trying to control? Is it really just the desire for limitless youth and otherworldly beauty? Or do we need a substitute religion because we have nothing else to believe in? I'm searching for answers to these questions, starting with myself.