Ted Wallace is a sour, old, cantankerous beast, a womanizing and whisky-sodden bounder of a failed poet and drama critic, but he has his faults too. Fired from his newspaper, months behind on his alimony payments and disgusted with a world that undervalues him, Ted seeks a few months' repose and free drink at Swafford Hall, the country mansion of his old friend Lord Logan. But strange things have been going on at Swafford. Miracles. Healings. Phenomena beyond the comprehension of a mud-caked hippopotamus like Ted. 'Clever... witty... not what it seems' - The Times. 'My goodness what fruity language Fry uses! You can feel his enjoyment, and also the huge force of his desire to please you, as you read this' - Daily Mail.