I had lost nothing and was not ill when the lawsuit dragged me into the abyss and cast me out from the circle of the living. The greatest threat of my life was in the past: the summer when the light became unbearable was supposed to be a single celebration. The first summer of my son, whose breaths we had hung onto all winter. When Marion Muller-Colard's two-month-old son fell seriously ill, a long period of hope and anxiety followed. The child ultimately recovered against all odds, but the young mother, a pastor by profession, fell into a deep depression. She could neither endure the light of summer nor find support in the offers of help from friends and family. Her feeling of powerlessness was overwhelming. The chaplain movingly and poetically recounts how she finds a different way to believe, a different God: one who does not guarantee the safety of people, but rather the resilience of life.